Thursday, March 31, 2011

Obama's Libya Speech (a Patriot's summary)

By Rogue Rose

Here's a summary of the the President’s speech, you know, for those who missed it. (I offer this as a free public service. I watch, so you don't have to)

"I want to show that I have learned to use the word "we", so I will sprinkle it through my first couple of comments while I still remember. Yeah me!
(Truth break - The military and their families are wonderful and they are to be commended for their courage, professionalism and patriotism and their sacrifices honored.)

But equally amazing are... diplomats, you know, the ones who have those great parties at the embassies. Our military is engaged all over the world so I figured "hey, why not Libya?" The UN said "great idea" so I gave the order. Congress hasn't seemed to mind. Freedom fighters in mid-east good, tyrants bad. Hope good, nightmare bad. I took his money and told him to step down, but Qaddafi had the nerve to ignore my commands. I ordered, at my direction, as CIC I put in place, I authorized, (thank goodness I got those 'we's' in early on) but Qaddafi continued to ignore my awesomeness. I refused, I authorized, (oh wait, that's we) we attacked, we blew stuff up, we stopped Qaddafi in his tracks, we have been awesome.

Clinton took a year to get this organized for Bosnia, but I got it done in a month, take that Billary! No US ground troops. NATO is taking over on Wed (are you guys sure no one knows US commands NATO?) We don't know how to get Qaddafi to quit, but nevermind, Hillary is going to London for a meeting and they'll figure it all out then.

Other countries don't care if innocent people are slaughtered, but we do because I am now in charge and I care more than anyone else. Our vital security interest is.. wait for it... refugees!! They would have toppled all surrounding nations, cause we know there aren't any refugees milling around in the middle east region. (Do you think they are buying this?) We are going to do everything we accomplished in 8 years in Iraq in a couple of weeks in Libya and without boots on the ground, even though we won't use violence to remove Qaddafi cause they have ME! History is not on Qaddafi's side (does he know history?)

I will now take us to war not just to protect American's vital interests, but to support our "values", keep peace, maintain the flow of commerce, insure regional security, or anything else that strikes my fancy.

Bow now before my awesomeness. Ta daaaa!! applause now!"

1 comment:

  1. Rose you are a genius! Only you could take an Obama speech and make it entertaining!

    I can't wait for the "summary" from his next endeavor.

    Thank you so much for making the sacrifice to actually LISTEN to one of his speeches!